Do Not Fall for Fall Clothes

A reminder.

image via Vogue

It’s august. It’s that time of year where we are tiring of our summer clothes, we long for the seasons to change, even though, once winter arrives we usually regret it. We long for falling leaves, pumpkin spice everything, and…fall outfits.

To me, one of the great myths of all time is fall outfits.

Let me be the one to remind you: you do NOT need fall clothes. They are a farce. Oh yes, they are beautiful. Camel corduroy pants, camel colored sweater ponchos, vests lined in shearling…tartan plaids…once again, in shades of camel. But they serve ZERO purpose.

Let me explain. Fall weather is either too hot, or too cold. There is no in-between. You are either boiling hot (only this time you are not in summer clothes, you are wearing wool blends) or you are freezing to death and thinking, “Does it get this cold so early in the season?” If there is such a thing as “fall” weather, it’s nothing more than a mere 45 minute window at one point in the season, and you won’t have any of your fall clothes with you at that time. Therefore, you will miss said window.

If you wear the sweater poncho to a pumpkin patch (because isn’t that what we are supposed to do in fall?), you will be standing around in the blazing sun sweating to death. You will feel agitated and hot,. You will peel off your layers and curse yourself for not wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Your feet will be sweating in the boots you wore to match said outfit and you will wonder what you were thinking when you got dressed that morning.

The flip side: you find yourself in the back of a hayride, freezing to death. SHIVERING. Wishing you had a puffer coat, as that sweater poncho provides zero protection or warmth from the wind and dropping temperatures.

And don’t get me started on vests. They keep your chest warm, sure. But what about your arms? At what point of the year do you only need to be warm on your torso? Your extremities will be cold. OR, your torso will be drenched and roasting. See what I mean?

Save your money. Ignore the influencer links to pleated wine-colored skirts and unlined jackets. Put it towards a warm winter coat, a pair of warm winter boots, or a vacation for when it gets so cold you want to get out of dodge.

Thank me later.

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